Events

While living in Uganda the past 4.5 years I have missed out on a lot of family birthday parties, a graduation, a good friend's wedding and other significant life events for people in the States.  One of the reasons I was looking forward to moving back was to be able to participate in these times of celebration.  Yesterday was Brady's first birthday party and I was thinking about how grateful I was to be there with this little guy:

I know there are many more parties and events to look forward to!  I am also grateful for all the birthdays and events I got to celebrate with people in Uganda. Seeing how a different culture celebrates gave me a different perspective on aging, and what is worthy of a party. 

 Here are some other pictures from the party yesterday, I just downloaded Instagram so this is my first try on these photos!

Birthday Boy

The party scene from the tree house

Cake pops!

Jen, the great party organizer

Sister time

Buddies

Repatriation

This past week a friend sent me some encouraging words about adjusting back to life in the States.  There were a couple parts that were helpful, and I thought I would write about one interesting section.  It goes through the 10 stages of "repatriation", a word I had not heard before.  It refers to someone who has moved back to their home culture as a repatriate (in comparison to an expatriate I suppose).  It was helpful to see the stages laid out, and especially that it talks about the process taking a year.  Reading through them I would guess I am somewhere in stages 2-4, especially the creation of a home, community and professional life.  Here are the stages:

Stage 1: Honeymoon: The joy of rediscovering what is charming and unique about your home country.

Stage 2: Settling-In: The creation process for home life, community life and professional life – which will be an ongoing list of tasks to completed over time.

Stage 3: Foreigner: Loneliness sets in sometime during the Settling-In stage. After there is some semblance of order and routine in place and there is space to sit down for a moment, the reality of repatriation can strike and the longing for your former life abroad can start to make you feel like you are missing out on something.

Stage 4: Dating: Our need for relationships leads us to begin extending ourselves in search of friendship and community. We begin "dating" potential friends in search of rhythm and synchronicity.

Stage 5: Overwhelm: We have come a long way but we are not there yet and we are tired at this stage. The task of creating community can be overwhelming. We must dig deep for fortitude and stamina to continue the journey.

Stage 6: Redefining Me: This is the stage in which we ask ourselves, "Who am I now?" and compare it to "Who was I abroad?" We then should be determining "What are the best parts of each?" and combining them and moving forward.

Stage 7: Am I There Yet: Right about now, we believe we should be over the transition. However, discouragement, fear and grief surface and surprise us. It is time to take a deep breath and be at peace with the feelings, regardless of what they are.

Stage 8: Acceptance: Acceptance of what is: the good, the bad, the ugly, the successes, the joys and the graceful moments. This is the big letting go.

Stage 9: Personal Flow: Our exotic past and current life integrate and we (should) find personal flow emotionally, mentally and physically.

Stage 10: Home: The time when you can peacefully say "I am home". Time to celebrate! 

Some  of these stages don't sound fun (especially #5!) but it does help normalize things.  They also gave some suggestions for the process which I might write about more in a later post.

I'll end with some pictures of the Stage 2 process as I continued to set up my new apartment this past week.  The picture below is of the turret with the perfectly fitting couch!  I already love the spot for reading or relaxing.  Next I need to work on getting some different curtains and a rug...

So far I have not hung anything on the walls but am hoping to do some of that tomorrow.  I also have a stack of things I want to get framed.  Below are a few new pieces and one I brought back from Uganda (thanks, Rachel!), I am thinking they will make it feel more home-like.  

So that is the update from here. Still waiting on internet in my apartment but hoping that will come soon and blogging can continue!

Moving Day

Yesterday I moved in to my new place in Wilmington.  As I mentioned before I had worked on packing up stuff last weekend and also had lots of stuff in storage from pre-Uganda.  I took some pictures along the way of the moving process, I had some great help!  We were trying to beat an impending storm that was moving towards the East Coast.

My little car all loaded and ready to go

Aaron and Kyle actively loading my heaviest piece of furniture

I bought a table and chairs on moving day!  We wait for the trailer to arrive.

The ladies who helped me move- so great.

Starting the unpacking process.  This bin was packed in Uganda and just reopened- nothing broken, thanks Abby!

Walking to frozen yogurt to end the move!  The storm is moving in behind us.

Now I am in the process of making lists of what I need to get, deciding where all my decorative items will go and getting familiar with a new place.  I slept there last night and it was surprisingly quiet for a city, so hopefully that will continue!    I'm grateful that I have furniture to get me started and many people who are willing to help with the process.  Will try to continue posting pictures as I am more moved in!

Settling In

The past week was my first full work week.  I learned more of my routine- what time I need to get up to make it to work, getting to know coworkers and clients and how often I will see all of them, finding out about weekly or monthly meetings I will be attending.  There still seems like a LOT to learn, especially in terms of resources in the area for clients and how to best direct people.  I am trying to give myself some time although it is frustrating not to know all the information people need right away.

One small project I worked on was making the desk I inherited more like mine.  I got some pictures and memorable things to help it feel personal.  Some of you may see pictures of yourselves, plus things from my Kenya trip, and recently purchased items in California and Maine.  I also got a new desk chair which greatly improves the comfort level!

 The next big settling time will come with my move next weekend.  I've been staying with Teresa and will move in to my new apartment on Saturday.  The past 24 hours has been a lot of sorting through boxes and packing at my parents.  I am actually surprised how much stuff I have!  A lot of it has been in storage for my whole Uganda time or longer, so it has been interesting to see old photos or mementos. Here is a small portion of the items to be moved:

I've been thinking a lot about what I'll need for the new place.  I've never lived alone in the US so will need to buy or borrow some furniture and kitchen items along with other needed things like cleaning supplies and kitchen staples.  I went in the apartment one more time this week and have been wondering how to decorate and fill some of the spaces.  There is a great turret but I am trying to figure out what will fit there- a couch, round table, chair??  Lots to be decided as the move happens.

The turret area

This has been my first Labor Day off in a while and I have loved the 3 day weekend, despite lots of rain.  I am still doing a lot of adjusting and appreciating any down time for reflecting and transition.    Hopefully as more "settling" goes on, it will feel less like transition and more like normal life.